Thursday, April 13, 2006

Potential Bitch

There is no greater adversary than ones own potential. Bla bla bla bla bla.

Everybody is always so sure about what I could be doing. If I would just apply myself it should be better.

In the few times I have managed to far surpass the wildest expectations, I was thusly informed that the problem was the potential was measured incorrectly. I'm not great I'm an anomaly.

Unfathomably, I remain myself. Obviously to the dismay of my great-ass potential.

Nothing is impossible.
Everything that can happen, does happen.
Create your reality.

Don't tell me what kind of day to have.

Sunday, April 02, 2006

Holy San Francisco

Today in the mail I received a 65 page booklet, shaped like Reader's Digest. The cover says "What's Next? EARTHQUAKES TSUNAMIS AIDS TERRORISM Are you PREPARED? SAN FRANCISCO EDITION". An explosion is the background graphic with the smoking end of a radical pipe (a big wave) at the top and four gorgeous, sun-shiney, marketing photos of the 4 unquestionably phallic architectural symbols in town.

My first thought was that somebody down in city hall was getting waaaay too freaked out. Who had authorized this? On the back is a classic shot from the 1906 quake aftermath, the anniversary is this week. Beside my address label (Resident) is a giant crack in what looks like solid rock. It better not say to have tuna under my bed.

But the text on the back ends with "Are we nearing the end of the world? What then?" What then? Couldn't be city hall.

Indeed when I ripped open the little sealer dots I found the most wherefores, well-nighs, and ye shalls I have seen in a very long time. One section (there are 11, each starts with a mini giant crack graphic) "The Coming Crisis" seems to attempt to compare and contrast the laws of God and men. They then appear to advocate some sort of Sunday-Sabbath "Curfew" as the only way to cease the calamities that God hath brought. Anyway, long story short, they say that spiritualism is assimilating Christianity, which is surprising, because in fact, Christianity has assimilated every mythos it ever encountered - starting with spiritualism.

So yea I'm all riled up about this thing when I finally make it to page 1 and 2, just inside the cover. A black and white bleed (edge-to-edge photo) of the 1906 quake. Probably Market St. On one page is the table of contents and the other is the following message:

Dear Reader,

What's Next for San Francisco?

God only knows. And not only does He know, He cares. And He cares enough to tell us.

What's Next?, written by one who eye-witnessed the devastation of the Great San Francisco Earthquake, will give you unparalleled insight into the future and the events that will soon and forever change the course of human history.

What's Next? The ancient Hebrew prophet Daniel foretold “a time of trouble, such as never was since there was a nation.” Upon this “time of trouble” we are now entering. The stage is now being set for the final conflict between good and evil.

What's Next? We might have cause to fear if it were not for the fact that God has charted a course to safety for all His children who are willing to follow Him. It is left with us to choose what road we will take.

What's Next? How will the story end? We invite you to read on and experience the glorious future now! And in reading, may you learn to walk hand in had with Him who holds the future, is out prayer.

The Publishers

Then in a separate, more opaque block, in a much smaller font, it starts "What's Next? is an abridged version of The Great Controversy by E.G. White, first published in 1884..." They go on to claim a copyright for a 501(c)(3) so they can sue me if they want. Apparently the graphics were added later.

Just for the record, I want to predict that "In the future, things will be bigger and more complicated than ever before.™©®∞" You can quote me on that.

D'oh! The seventh-day Adventist.

People our gods are tearing our world apart.
I heard the good news, now please stop sacrificing the trees, and each other.